IELTS MARKS AND COMMENTS
Fluency 				7
Pronunciation 			7
Vocabulary				8
Grammar				6
Final band score 		            7	

COMMENTS
Please be careful to not use the pronoun “you” in IELTS answers as there is never any situation when it is correct to use it. 
Be careful about your use of singular and plural.
Be careful to not mix up the present and past tense which you did once or twice
Be careful about using the correct prepositions, which you did most of the time but not always.
Try to remember these patterns 
Firstly, In addition and finally
EXAMPLE What I like about my home town. Firstly, I like the lovely old buildings, in addition I Iove that it is built on the river and finally I think the people are so friendly.
General, in particular and reason
EXAMPLE What food do you like? In general, I love desserts, in particular I am a fan of chocolate cake and I guess the reason is it is so delicious.
Also it depends, sometimes and however
EXAMPLE Do you like to get up early? It depends, sometimes I feel full of energy and like to get up and play tennis, however when I am very tired I hate getting up.

CORRECTIONS
I didn't have so much things to care about/waking up early in the next morning/ This is the time when I watch some movies (at that time) / and throw off all the stress (get rid of all stress)/ as I have mentioned above (don’t say that: as I have already said) / I always (try not to say always, say often) go outside with my bosom friends (old-fashiioned: bosom buddy)/share my daily life stories/ immerse myself in technical devices (mention concretely) (immerse myself in games) / to have you know (avoid) 

Part Two
Let me tell you about my story/ when it comes to / none other than my sister/ flying colours/ move to another place/ it's very facilitate her studying/ so when he-she self correction(good) I feel so happy 
I would like to talk about instead
Part Three
Maybe the former previous accomodation is not suitable/ there are so many young people/ we do not have our fellow peers/I think it's much more happy (I think many people happier)/ the first thing occurs to me/ the second thing appears to my mind/there is are so many time when we need/ in our neighbourhood/ use problem solving skills/